My husband gets credit for this awesome tagline. We were discussing the perilous possibilities of the future vis-a-vis the upcoming election while waiting in a line of cars for the drive-in last Saturday (my early bday present). While writing the "Impeachment" blog last week, literally mid-way through, I realized that even warning people about what COULD happen if we don't impeach Clownshoes right now is feeding the fear out there, and what we need to do more of is concentrate on the positive visualization thing. Hence, my positive visuals of Jenna Bush in a waitress uniform and Karl Rove getting cornholed in prison. :) (smiley emoticon face)
Bruce also summed up the whole metaphysics-quantum physics thing with an anecdote about a realization he had during a psychedelic experience: (according to polls, I've just lost about 30% of you. oh well.) Anything that can happen, does happen. It's the reality that you choose to live in that you live in. I'm not saying it's an entirely conscious choice, or that blame should be placed anywhere (get OUT of our heads you damn Puritans with your F-ing Providence!!)- because most of us, most of the time, feel like we're falling down the rabbit hole and that we were pushed.
But. Make no mistake, consciousness has real power. Recently I've come to believe that the major decisions we make and act upon do, in effect, create whole new worlds. Parallel universes, if you will. You either walk through this door, or that one. You marry this guy, or that guy. You forget about that and pursue a career. But somewhere out there is the "you" that made the other choice. This is what mystics and quantum physicists are talking about when they say The Universe is Full of Infinite Possibility. And at the same time, it is empty, with possibility.
(according to polls I've just lost another 20% of you.)
Right now we're all living in the universe of people who have made the decisions that they have made. Duh, right? It's a wacky, complex subject to explain, so books and movies make it easier. One set of science-fiction books I especially like on the subject is the "Hominids/Hybrids" series by Robert Sawyer, on the parallel universe where Neanderthals survived instead of us Homo Sapiens. As an anthro-geek I especially loved them, but I think anybody could get into them- and he does a great job of explaining the whole consciousness shift/parallel universe thing. It had me convinced, anyway. Some simpler/more fantastical ones are the movies "The Family Man," "Sliding Doors," and of course, "It's A Wonderful Life." Watch or read one of those if I've lost you already, and then come back.
Ok, everybody here? Cool. So it stands to reason, from what we've just learned and what we've known all our lives, that our future is a conscious choice. Nothing is "inevitable" (god how I hate that word!) and nothing is impossible. Given that, and now we know that we're in complete control of our futures, the logical and morally sound choice is to point all of our collective consciousnesses (is that really a word?) towards the positive. Allow yourself to imagine the best possible outcome of the upcoming election, the ensuing investigations of this criminal administration, and basically a future so bright (powered by solar energy) you gotta wear shades. That takes many different shapes for different people, so, unless you're a sociopath, go wild. :) For me it's being able to build my xeriscaping empire and remaking the business world with a new model that's socially inclusive, green to the 158th power, and revolutionary in that all "profits" are plowed back into the earth and the community. Also, I'm an award-winning filmmaker and writer. And not only will my 2 year old daughter NOT be a slave to the Chinese, she'll also get to pursue her abilities to their utmost, and possibly run for President someday, if she wants to. There are no more abused children, no more starving people, no more anyone without access to capital and clean water. Global warming has stopped, and we're starting to reverse its effects. The green technologies and localized businesses are thriving, and everyone is choosing to plow their profits back into the community, so that their livelihoods are sustainable for many generations to come.
Oh and we're also whizzing around in those cool hover-craft cubes that the Neanderthals have.
Why not?? I think all this is possible. The whiners may disagree, they're usually the first to whine, "oh you want the whole world to hold hands and sing Kumbaya." Um, no, I've always hated that song. I'm not a Utopianist, I'm an anthropologist, and I know we'll always have conflict in a world with this many people and limited resources. But if you use just a wee bit of your imagination, it's not hard to visualize a better, more sustainable way to solve those conflicts. Sure, it's easier to just go on doing things the way we've always done them, but that way will surely kill us. I realize that these entrenched habits are hard to break away from, but break away we must. As an anthropologist and all-around "aware" person, I know that the current way we live is unsustainable- so it must end, somehow. The question is, and I put this to all whiners who say "it can't happen, humanity will never change" do you want to do this the nice, civil way, or do you want to do this the hard way? We can perform our revolution at the voting box and make sure it's not stolen this time, or if they try and fuck with us again we can rise up and make them regret it. Either way, the patriarchy is going down. Right now I'm envisioning a non-violent end to all the lies and destruction, but I know there's quite a few people out there who can imagine only violence, because that's all they know- their imaginations have been starved nearly to death by the media, bad Steven Seagal flicks, and the "news" vampires which thrive on blood.
I'm not expecting Mr. Obama to be the perfect President to all people, but I am expecting him to be President, and to succeed in the monumental task of empowering us all to turn this country around. I know it will happen. Get on board and all the hard work and consciousness changing will be a lot easier to swallow. As the man himself has said a few times in answer to the question, "Can we do this? Yes we can!"
Or as Jesus just said to me, "Hey-all yeah!" (but he was all fired up after watching the Hillary speech. Go figure.) Tell me your dreams for the future with all the beautiful details in your responses, por favor. Por ejemplo, I'm already picturing the hemp/nomex gown I'll be wearing to accept my Oscar, and gathering quotes from various women/girls to use in my speech. Ridiculous? I think not!
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Tuesday, August 19, 2008
On Impeachment
Maybe I didn't put a fine enough point on this during my Preparedness blog, in fact I know I din't- but- one key factor in us being able to keep our country, and our asses, intact is impeachment. Like, now. Yesterday, preferably. Why, you may well arsk? When we're about to swat the President-Select out the door with a huge 2x4 known as our collective voting power? WEllllllll... yeah. Because in this day and age, we can't really take that for granted. Because of the heinous things they've done, we know that we can no longer put anything past this Administration. And because they know of everything they're guilty of, better than any of us, and they know a new administration (even McCain's, for payback) would immediately set about investigating, charging, and imprisoning them for the sake of preserving everything our Constitution stands for.
And they have no desire to go to jail. As we've seen from the contempt Karl Rove shows for Congressional Subpoenas for cryin' out loud, not to mention the higher courts and duh, the American people- it's going to take nothing less than armed U.S. Marshals and possibly a Marine Corps unit for backup to get these pigfuckers to comply with the laws of the land.
Why that hasn't been done yet, at least in Rove's case, is beyond me. Perhaps because our esteemed Speaker Pelosi has taken impeachment "off the table" of her own volition (certainly not the American people's, because nearly 50% of now believe impeachment is necessary) which tells me she's an accomplice to some of these crimes, willing or not, but she is.
So, what previously seemed unimaginable is now imaginable. To avoid jailtime or even a thorough investigation which would forever destroy any hope of a "legacy" these guys might leave (a positive one, I mean), I'm afraid they're going to pull some shite that would make 9-11 look like a fireworks show. Namely, they've been saber rattling for years about Iran, and now with this current conflict in Georgia, I'm afraid they might try to use that as an inroad. If you look at a globe, you will notice that Georgia borders the Caspian sea. It's also smack in the middle of an oil pipeline route from Russia to China, which the former USSR guys have been grousing about since "the fall" of their empire. The other countries, Soviets said "meh, we don't like you much anyway. Go away and starve and be poor and then you will miss Red Army!" yeah not so much. But Georgia, that's the one "state" they've been missing for lo, these 17 years, precisely for this reason. The fact that Condi Rice was just over there, basically telling Russia "we don't take a position in inter-Asia-Russo matters" much like April Glaspie did with Saddam Hussein right before he invaded Kuwait... doesn't ease my mind much.
Anyway.
What with that and the instability of Pakistan, etc. etc. I'm trying to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. One of my coworkers, who's been on this planet a bit longer than me, counseled me today to not feed that fear, and instead go with the hope, and the faith in humanity. Not just because that will keep us all sane (rather than maddened, starving, hysterical) but because it's the right thing to do. So in that vein, I'd like to focus on the positive visualizations rather than the zit-inducing, stomach-churning visions of imagining the unimaginable. And if we are going to traipse down that garden path of imagining the future, I think we should do it holding hands, and looking out for each other.
Very well then. Despite what people might think, I have no desire for these treasonous pigs to be put to death for their crimes, or even assassinated. Nope. I've been categorically against the death penalty for as long as I can remember and that's not going to change. Besides the thought of even more killing is simply distasteful. All I want is for them all to be sentenced to life imprisonment, and then they and their families need to pay back EVERY FUCKING LAST PENNY THEY'VE STOLEN from this country and others. If that takes a few generations, so be it.
So my positive visualizations on the matter amount to this: Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, -all of them- in cold gray cells for the rest of their lives, and little Jenna, Barbie, et.al. working three jobs or more to pay off part of daddy's debt. It's too late for them to know what it's like to work those three jobs while putting yourself through college and then graduating to insurmountable debt- but I think a little post-graduate work is in order. You think that sounds too much like what the Allies did to Germany after WWI? That the Bush family will rebel under too stern a yoke and come back even harder after 10 years of that? Meh. I'll take my chances. One way or another, the Bush & Cheney crime families need to be taken down, exposed, and somehow reduced to the "common-ness" and humility they've reduced everyone else to for these past 24+ years.
Ok, so admittedly another part of my positive vision is Karl Rove in a gimp suit, ball gag and all, getting corn-holed by the biggest, blackest dude possible in the bleakest, nastiest Federal prison possible (probably Leavenworth). For me, that's a positive vision. For me, that spells justice. That and Jenna Bush working as a breakfast waitress in some greasy spoon, wearing an ugly brown polyester uniform.
Of course she won't have to worry about the high cost of daycare, because that will be standardized and heavily subsidized for all children in America by President Obama. But she will have to worry about her assclown of a husband cheating on her, because that's just how they roll.
After we impeach the mofos, we need to make sure Republicans can never rule again. I think this will happen of its own accord, once scandal after treasonous scandal is exposed to the American public and they find out how bad things really were while they had their heads in the sand- but just in case they do, we basically need to keep them honest. A big part of that would be a name change, so they need to call themselves what they are, after they've been called out. Conservatives can go ahead and run on a Republican platform, they just need to call their new party either the Whiny Little Babies, the Hypocritical Lying Sacks of Shit, or the Cowardly Chickenhawks. Those are the choices. Let no-one say that I'm not pro-choice.
So. Impeachment. Do it. Call your congressperson and urge them to do it. Then support the Congressmen who've actually had the balls to stand up for this country when no one else will- Dennis Kucinich and Robert Wexler- and donate to their campaigns because they're being systematically attacked by the Right-wing smear machine. John Conyers could also use your help. I've been screaming about this for close to 4 years now, I know y'all are sick of me, but it's time for all y'all to start screaming too, and don't stop every last member of the Bush Administration is handcuffed and carted off to jail.
And they have no desire to go to jail. As we've seen from the contempt Karl Rove shows for Congressional Subpoenas for cryin' out loud, not to mention the higher courts and duh, the American people- it's going to take nothing less than armed U.S. Marshals and possibly a Marine Corps unit for backup to get these pigfuckers to comply with the laws of the land.
Why that hasn't been done yet, at least in Rove's case, is beyond me. Perhaps because our esteemed Speaker Pelosi has taken impeachment "off the table" of her own volition (certainly not the American people's, because nearly 50% of now believe impeachment is necessary) which tells me she's an accomplice to some of these crimes, willing or not, but she is.
So, what previously seemed unimaginable is now imaginable. To avoid jailtime or even a thorough investigation which would forever destroy any hope of a "legacy" these guys might leave (a positive one, I mean), I'm afraid they're going to pull some shite that would make 9-11 look like a fireworks show. Namely, they've been saber rattling for years about Iran, and now with this current conflict in Georgia, I'm afraid they might try to use that as an inroad. If you look at a globe, you will notice that Georgia borders the Caspian sea. It's also smack in the middle of an oil pipeline route from Russia to China, which the former USSR guys have been grousing about since "the fall" of their empire. The other countries, Soviets said "meh, we don't like you much anyway. Go away and starve and be poor and then you will miss Red Army!" yeah not so much. But Georgia, that's the one "state" they've been missing for lo, these 17 years, precisely for this reason. The fact that Condi Rice was just over there, basically telling Russia "we don't take a position in inter-Asia-Russo matters" much like April Glaspie did with Saddam Hussein right before he invaded Kuwait... doesn't ease my mind much.
Anyway.
What with that and the instability of Pakistan, etc. etc. I'm trying to hope for the best and prepare for the worst. One of my coworkers, who's been on this planet a bit longer than me, counseled me today to not feed that fear, and instead go with the hope, and the faith in humanity. Not just because that will keep us all sane (rather than maddened, starving, hysterical) but because it's the right thing to do. So in that vein, I'd like to focus on the positive visualizations rather than the zit-inducing, stomach-churning visions of imagining the unimaginable. And if we are going to traipse down that garden path of imagining the future, I think we should do it holding hands, and looking out for each other.
Very well then. Despite what people might think, I have no desire for these treasonous pigs to be put to death for their crimes, or even assassinated. Nope. I've been categorically against the death penalty for as long as I can remember and that's not going to change. Besides the thought of even more killing is simply distasteful. All I want is for them all to be sentenced to life imprisonment, and then they and their families need to pay back EVERY FUCKING LAST PENNY THEY'VE STOLEN from this country and others. If that takes a few generations, so be it.
So my positive visualizations on the matter amount to this: Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice, -all of them- in cold gray cells for the rest of their lives, and little Jenna, Barbie, et.al. working three jobs or more to pay off part of daddy's debt. It's too late for them to know what it's like to work those three jobs while putting yourself through college and then graduating to insurmountable debt- but I think a little post-graduate work is in order. You think that sounds too much like what the Allies did to Germany after WWI? That the Bush family will rebel under too stern a yoke and come back even harder after 10 years of that? Meh. I'll take my chances. One way or another, the Bush & Cheney crime families need to be taken down, exposed, and somehow reduced to the "common-ness" and humility they've reduced everyone else to for these past 24+ years.
Ok, so admittedly another part of my positive vision is Karl Rove in a gimp suit, ball gag and all, getting corn-holed by the biggest, blackest dude possible in the bleakest, nastiest Federal prison possible (probably Leavenworth). For me, that's a positive vision. For me, that spells justice. That and Jenna Bush working as a breakfast waitress in some greasy spoon, wearing an ugly brown polyester uniform.
Of course she won't have to worry about the high cost of daycare, because that will be standardized and heavily subsidized for all children in America by President Obama. But she will have to worry about her assclown of a husband cheating on her, because that's just how they roll.
After we impeach the mofos, we need to make sure Republicans can never rule again. I think this will happen of its own accord, once scandal after treasonous scandal is exposed to the American public and they find out how bad things really were while they had their heads in the sand- but just in case they do, we basically need to keep them honest. A big part of that would be a name change, so they need to call themselves what they are, after they've been called out. Conservatives can go ahead and run on a Republican platform, they just need to call their new party either the Whiny Little Babies, the Hypocritical Lying Sacks of Shit, or the Cowardly Chickenhawks. Those are the choices. Let no-one say that I'm not pro-choice.
So. Impeachment. Do it. Call your congressperson and urge them to do it. Then support the Congressmen who've actually had the balls to stand up for this country when no one else will- Dennis Kucinich and Robert Wexler- and donate to their campaigns because they're being systematically attacked by the Right-wing smear machine. John Conyers could also use your help. I've been screaming about this for close to 4 years now, I know y'all are sick of me, but it's time for all y'all to start screaming too, and don't stop every last member of the Bush Administration is handcuffed and carted off to jail.
Monday, August 11, 2008
No longer the difference between Coke and Pepsi
Here's the blog as it should have been written:
I'm fixin' to go to church tomorrow, and no one had better try and shoot me. Ask anyone, I'm hard enough to deal with on a good day, much less when I'm feeling more pissed off than usual, and protective of my fellow UU's. Apparently, my fellow Unitarians are also similarly inclined, when it comes to protecting each other. In case you've been on a "news diet" lately (and I would totally understand why) -I meant to blog about this right after it happened, but usually I'm glad when I let my hot head cool down for a couple days, at least. I'm talking about the shooting at the Unitarian Church in Knoxville, Tennessee on July 27th. The killer was apparently motivated by hatred (duh), the flames of which were fueled and fanned by right-wing talk radio. Specifically, this guy listened to Rush Limbaugh, Anne Coulter, and Michael Savage. {I feel like I have to go take another shower now, just from typing their vile names.} The killer brought a shotgun into a children's musical performance, and turned it on the audience intending to kill as many "goddam liberals" as possible, and then kill himself. Well, he didn't get the chance to commit suicide at least, thanks to my brave fellow UU's who tackled the motherfucker after he blasted one large congregant in the chest (who stood up on purpose and tried to shield other members) and then got off only one more shot, randomly spraying a 60-year-old woman in the face (who also died) before he was brought down and pinned to the ground. But not killed. Yeah that's right motherfucker, this is what happens when you try and fuck with a true community. People will stand up for each other and take a bullet if they have to, they won't run screaming from your terrible show of force, abandoning old people and children to their fate. Nuh-uh. And after they stand up, they'll smack your sorry ass down on the floor and maybe kick you in the head a few times. But they won't kill you, because it's just not in them. Oh no, we want this sad sack of shit to confess as much as possible, and tell everyone far and wide why he did what he did. If the deaths of these two good, caring people can serve any wider purpose at all, it should be to wake people the fuck up to the kind of hatred and lies being perpetrated by "respected" media figures. The shit they spew every day, for hours at a time, is directly responsible for this violence, and it SHOULD be prohibited by the FCC but somehow, hmmm, in the past 7.5 years, has been allowed not only to exist somewhere on the airwaves, but to dominate.
*Update: For awhile I was skittish about going to church or going anywhere where I could readily be identified as a "liberal," because depending on the media and public reaction to this hate crime, there would almost certainly be copycat crimes. And lo and behold, there has been, in my opinion. Just today (Aug.13th) a man walked into the Arkansas Democratic Party's headquarters in Little Rock, and shot the Democratic Party Chair. Thankfully, he was also caught, and unfortunately, shot by police during a high-speed chase. I'm still looking forward to a public explanation for this stomach-turning shite.
I've been a Unitarian for going on 8 years now, and my husband is fixin' to join too just as soon as another "intro" class rolls around. My spirituality is pretty private and personal to me, but I joined the First Unitarian Society of Denver because their ideals and values seemed to most closely match my own, and for the first time I saw that a church could be a very positive force in a community. When I joined, they were making the slow, onerous switch from being a "pastoral" (taking care of its own members) church to a "programmatic" type church, which is basically like applied anthropology- you take your shared ideals, and go out into the community and actually try to make the world a better place. This does not include proselytizing. Our "programs" are much like the church in Knoxville's. We proclaim ourselves to be a "Welcoming Congregation" which means open-arming people of all sexual orientations, specifically, but really it means everyone. For a couple years now we've had a banner hanging on the side of the church that reads "Civil Marriage is a Civil Right" that has caught us some flak. And for the Easter service, when Rev. Mike (who is awesome) put the title of the sermon on the display board/sign: Jesus Was A Liberal, some numbnut threw a rock through the plexiglass and smashed it. But these are biggest tastes of backlash we've gotten for our liberal, tolerant, peace-loving, tree-hugging, life and diversity affirming views.
The shooting in Knoxville was a massive, tragic wake-up call, to say the least. In the back of our heads, I guess we all knew/know that holding certain beliefs in this day and age, and having the temerity/courage to stand up for them unwaveringly, can be a very dangerous thing. Those who lived through the Civil Rights movement remember getting tear-gassed and fire-hosed like it was yesterday, but for those of us born after that, it's not even a vague memory. We're grateful for the people who went before us, and know that they went through hell and suffered numerous indignities so that we could have a more just society- but who among us really knows what it's like to have dogs set on you, or police billy-clubs, or god forbid be staring down the barrel of that gun, prepared to die for your beliefs? (*ahem, and no, the Tent State kids who are vain enough to think that the FBI is actually taking their dang pictures? They don't count)
Fortunately, not many of us.
The thing that impressed me first about FUSD was its Religious Education curriculum. Ok, it was also the beautiful stone building and the stained glass, but truly- 5 years before I had a kid- I was stone-cold pleasantly shocked by their RE programs, which focus on teaching tolerance, kindness, tolerance, open-mindedness, tolerance, respect for diversity in both mind and body, and did I mention, tolerance? At the time, I knew of no other religion that did this. Most of them seem to have some permutation on "Our way is The One True Way, and All Others are Inferior (or even, Satanic/Evil)." They start indoctrinating their kids in this sort of absolutism, seems to me, way too early. Maybe they're hoping that insecure little kids will glom onto the "Be in Our club Because We're the Best and Everyone Else Sucks and Doesn't that Make you Feel Good?" thing, but personally I think it would backfire.
Anyway. This is a pretty common theme of the Left, in my experience. Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance. EVEN, up to a point, of people preaching nothing but hatred, lies, intolerance, war, more lies, and more hatred, of anyone different. But for me, that point has been reached. The line has been crossed. I still am fine with anyone who has integrity in their beliefs. That means you know why you believe what you believe, and you can back up your beliefs with hard, cold facts, statistics, and yes even stories of real personal experience, as long as they're tempered with education, count. But lately, oooo lessee... for about the past 7.5 years, the folks on the right have little to none of that on their side at all. And their beliefs have gotten increasingly less harmless, to say the least. You believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? No, you don't have to back that up, because they're harmless beliefs. You believe you really look good in orange even though friends and loved ones keep telling you it's not your color? Well ya know, fine. You're only affecting yourself.
But beliefs start becoming not-so-harmless when they traipse into other people's personal space, and personal freedoms. Especially when you don't know exactly what those beliefs are based on, or you think you know, but they turn out to be lies, and then you refuse to accept the non-truth of them primarily for egotistical and emotional reasons. Example: the War in Iraq. Invasion and occupation would be better words. This is also a good example of the mass hysteria/ normalized insanity we've been living under for way longer than the past 7.5 years. Anyway. This country went to war on a rumour and a bunch of ginned-up propaganda and fear which those of us on the left (or anyone with more than two functioning brain cells who wasn't in total denial about the nature of this country/government/administration) knew was a pack o'lies from the very beginning. Many people chose to believe those lies because they were scared shitless, used to trusting anyone in authority, didn't want to believe their government would ever mislead them, etc. etc. despite all evidence to the contrary. Literally, we had the chief weapons inspector (Hans Blix, yah?) on the TV one second saying, "We've found absolutely no weapons of mass destruction here, nor the ingredients for them, nor the technology," and the next second the President-select was on TV squealing, "see see! he's got bombs! He want to use them on us!!" and his Ph.d. Russian expert security advisor actually had the balls to say to CONGRESS "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." This should/did create what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance." We were being told not to trust our own eyes, ears or instincts, but to listen to what the Chimp in Chief said was true.
Because they didn't want to be wrong, and don't want to ever admit that they're wrong, many people persist in "believing" the ensuing avalanche of lies despite the mountain of evidence piled up, these 5 years hence, to directly contradict them.
So, you say, as Dick Cheney might- so what? Part of the foundation of America is the premise that people can choose to believe whatever they want to believe, and no one can or should tell them different. Welp, the actual premise of that whole freedom of speech/thought/worship thing is that, it ends at the tip of someone else's nose, or personal space. Again, you can believe whatever you want, as long as it harms no one else. In this case, the folks on the right think they can still get away with it, because the people being harmed by their erroneous beliefs are not American citizens. And therefore, I guess, in the twisted, inhuman logic of the Right,they deserve to die.
So because of this heretofore widely held erroneous belief, close to one million Iraqi citizens have had not only their noses punched by our flagrant "freedom of thought/expression", but they've had their personal space totally extinguished. They're dead. Finito. And in the eyes of many of the same Americans who hold these erroneous beliefs dear, those dead Iraqis aren't even in "a better place"- nope, they went straight to hell because they're Muslim, not Christian. So there goes that little rationalization for killing.
This is where the difference in belief systems ceases to be the difference between Coke and Pepsi drinkers, amigos. If the hate-mongering assclown posse were simply telling their listeners to stay up all night in the pumpkin patch so that the Great Pumpkin can come and deliver you candy- fine. But nope. No such luck. The right-wing talk radio hosts and pundits see all the anger and frustration of the American people, but instead of trying to soothe it or find a healthy solution, they fan the flames for their own short-term personal gain. They do that by telling outright lies that support their agenda and apparently validate the wounded pride of the average white American male. In this case, an out-of-work Army vet who blamed his joblessness and every other problem on us "Godless Liberals" not to mention, all those brown "illegal" aliens, gays, and probably anyone who owns a small dog, for good measure. (you're obviously a pansy elitist if you own anything smaller than a Rottweiler). So, because of that, they deserved to die.
Maybe there was a time when picking a belief system was just as harmless as choosing a soft drink, but if there was, I wasn't alive during it. I know my cynical Jr. High Social Studies teacher, Mr. Johnson, described the two American political parties and the Left-to-Right spectrum as "the same, completely, but with different colors." I guess I can remember a time in my life when it wasn't really about choosing sides, so much as like choosing side-dishes from a Chinese menu. Here in Column B, you have what the adherents call Fiscal Conservatism- but that costs 20 million dollars and assumes you have inherited wealth! Whoa! But ya know, if you like to rub elbows with the wealthy and powerful, or think of yourself as one of them even though you're totally impoverished, go ahead and try it. In Column A we have something called the Social Contract which basically says, the people can have whatever regulations and programs they want, as long as it's a majority decision and they're willing to pay for it. E.g., if you don't want to step over homeless people on the way to work, you better be willing to spend some money on programs to prevent homelessness, etc. Blaming the downtrodden for their predicament gets us nowhere, and besides it's just not very Christian, nor very American. Ok- sounds good! Can I have that? But wait, the items in Column B are calling my choices "Tax and Spend Bleeding Heart Liberalism!" Wait- I don't want to be a bleeding heart... do I? (what the hell does that mean, anyway?) They're also saying.. come over here! Order from us! We have this thing about "personal responsibility" that no one else has! (Really? Can you define that please, and tell me ALL the ingredients up front so I know there's no MSG in it?) and "small government"... hmmm, I guess they're out of that today because Homeland Security's taken over the kitchen and the restaurant owner isn't even that interested in serving the customers anymore, he's got this idea that the customers should serve him. Yeah, that's him over in the corner booth sitting on his fat ass with his back to the wall so no one can sneak in and shoot him (because you know Homeland Security is too busy stuffing their faces with all that free food to actually PROTECT anyone)- woops, I've gone too far with this metaphor! But anyway, you get the idea. Some people like the pork chow mein, and some people want the vegetarian Happy Family, whaddreyagonnado? I mean, I would think you were a total moron/hypocrite for believing any of that crap coming from the right hand side of the aisle, but who friggin cares what I think, anyway? I never met a conservative who could actually back up their beliefs with facts, figures, or even convincing stories, but I didn't associate with them that much so it was okay.
But now.. with these incidents in particular, and just because all of their crap has finally made my temperature reach the boiling point- it's become blatantly obvious to everyone, I think, just what HUGE hypocrites and whopping liars they really are, ESPECIALLY with that tripe about "personal responsibility." Sure they talk a good game about being "self-sufficient" and "pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps" out one side of their mouths, and then out the other side (as well as out their arses) they're fanning the flames of bigotry and hatred and ENCOURAGING their listeners / followers to blame anyone and anything else for all their problems, but nowhere on the list is the individual having all those problems. Popular scapegoats now include "illegal" immigrants, or basically anyone with brown skin; "liberals" who include anyone to the left of Jerry Falwell, and I think you know what's coming next- the usual suspects; Jews, women, children, the elderly, the disabled, the diseased (hello, Savage), the poor, the dark-skinned, and yes, the intellectuals, who are already branded as "elitist snobs" because we dare to contradict their wild-eyed fantasies with rational, critical thought and these things called facts.
But anyway. This guy in Knoxville admitted as much, he thought the liberals were responsible for taking his job, his woman, his dignity- so all he had left were his truck and his gun. Give me a fucking break. Don't even get me started on how wrong that is. But you think the Insane Assclown Posse will take a smidgen of Personal Responsibility for this sad sack, who apparently was following their orders to a "T"?
uhhh... hmm.. I mentioned the fact that they were cowardly hypocritic liars, right? Who encourage people to go fight in wars for them so their defense contractor stock will rise? But actually couldn't win a thumb-war themselves, much less a fist-fight, much less a battle? Everyone knows Rush is a fat,drug-addicted bastard who can't get out of his chair to try and squash me, nevermind throwing punches. And Coulter? I'll snap her scrawny ass across my knee like a bundle of dry kindling. Done.
Not anymore. The subtitle for this blog should be, "Why it is no longer okay to be a Republican asshole." I could go on about how the conservative movement in America has been highjacked by the NeoCons, and the mainstream "fiscal" or "faith-based" conservatives or whatever they choose to call themselves, have totally gone along with it- but that may be a whole 'nother blog.
And all of this is being marketed to us as a perfectly acceptable "choice" you can make, that has no greater consequences than a fashion mistake or dieting slip-up. Are you on this side, with the winners and all the money, or that side, with the discredited losers in their ruined world? We on the left are supposed to be "tolerant" of such hateful, divisive tactics, because we're the peaceniks right? Love and respect for everyone and their various points of view? Here's the thing, mofos: if you are actually believing that shite that the hate-mongers sling, despite all credible evidence to the contrary, rah-rahing for WAR of all things when we don't even know who attacked us- the BURDEN OF PROOF IS ON YOU. You want to go to war on a rumour, that so -and-so might have to plans to not like us very much, some time in the future? Nuh-uh. Your plan is to attack a CIVILIAN CITY in the DEAD OF NIGHT with no opposing army in sight? And you rationalize this by saying that every person in that city is potentially a terrorist, including the babies? PROVE IT, motherfuckers. Your case for going to war has to be IRONCLAD, and after that, something called an actual battle plan has to be put in place. Oh, there's not going to be an actual "battle" you say? It's going to look more like a video game, called "Shock and Awe" and if the opponents have any sense at all , they'll flee from your terrible show of strength, and failing that, the survivors will welcome you as liberators? Hmmm. Explain to me how that's different from the Nazis bombing London during the Blitzkrieg. Something tells me they were following a similar script, written by Adolf Hitler. That's right, I said it, Americans are no better than the Nazis in this scenario. Chew on that for awhile. Find a way to rationalize it away.
Nope. No longer the difference between Coke and Pepsi, my friends, even though we've all been marketed-to our whole lives to believe it really is. I'm not going to stand for hate-speech anymore (not that I ever did) whether it comes from a coworker, a friend, a so-called "superior", family, in-laws, whatever. I'm done. This is too important. And if any of those hate-mongers dare to set foot in my town, on my turf, they can prepare to be bitch-smacked within an inch of their lives. If anyone so much as murmurs that they're voting for McCain because he seems "strong" and Obama seems "scary," you can bet I'll berate them verbally until they come to their senses and realize what they're saying. They might cry. I might cry. I don't care. Public humiliation and shaming people into doing the right thing is a time-honored, non-violent, force for social change. I aim to use it wisely. Oh, and I'm fixin' to go back to church every week if we have to. As Starbuck said on Battlestar Galactica, when someone asked her, "What do we do now??": Fight 'em until we can't.
I'm fixin' to go to church tomorrow, and no one had better try and shoot me. Ask anyone, I'm hard enough to deal with on a good day, much less when I'm feeling more pissed off than usual, and protective of my fellow UU's. Apparently, my fellow Unitarians are also similarly inclined, when it comes to protecting each other. In case you've been on a "news diet" lately (and I would totally understand why) -I meant to blog about this right after it happened, but usually I'm glad when I let my hot head cool down for a couple days, at least. I'm talking about the shooting at the Unitarian Church in Knoxville, Tennessee on July 27th. The killer was apparently motivated by hatred (duh), the flames of which were fueled and fanned by right-wing talk radio. Specifically, this guy listened to Rush Limbaugh, Anne Coulter, and Michael Savage. {I feel like I have to go take another shower now, just from typing their vile names.} The killer brought a shotgun into a children's musical performance, and turned it on the audience intending to kill as many "goddam liberals" as possible, and then kill himself. Well, he didn't get the chance to commit suicide at least, thanks to my brave fellow UU's who tackled the motherfucker after he blasted one large congregant in the chest (who stood up on purpose and tried to shield other members) and then got off only one more shot, randomly spraying a 60-year-old woman in the face (who also died) before he was brought down and pinned to the ground. But not killed. Yeah that's right motherfucker, this is what happens when you try and fuck with a true community. People will stand up for each other and take a bullet if they have to, they won't run screaming from your terrible show of force, abandoning old people and children to their fate. Nuh-uh. And after they stand up, they'll smack your sorry ass down on the floor and maybe kick you in the head a few times. But they won't kill you, because it's just not in them. Oh no, we want this sad sack of shit to confess as much as possible, and tell everyone far and wide why he did what he did. If the deaths of these two good, caring people can serve any wider purpose at all, it should be to wake people the fuck up to the kind of hatred and lies being perpetrated by "respected" media figures. The shit they spew every day, for hours at a time, is directly responsible for this violence, and it SHOULD be prohibited by the FCC but somehow, hmmm, in the past 7.5 years, has been allowed not only to exist somewhere on the airwaves, but to dominate.
*Update: For awhile I was skittish about going to church or going anywhere where I could readily be identified as a "liberal," because depending on the media and public reaction to this hate crime, there would almost certainly be copycat crimes. And lo and behold, there has been, in my opinion. Just today (Aug.13th) a man walked into the Arkansas Democratic Party's headquarters in Little Rock, and shot the Democratic Party Chair. Thankfully, he was also caught, and unfortunately, shot by police during a high-speed chase. I'm still looking forward to a public explanation for this stomach-turning shite.
I've been a Unitarian for going on 8 years now, and my husband is fixin' to join too just as soon as another "intro" class rolls around. My spirituality is pretty private and personal to me, but I joined the First Unitarian Society of Denver because their ideals and values seemed to most closely match my own, and for the first time I saw that a church could be a very positive force in a community. When I joined, they were making the slow, onerous switch from being a "pastoral" (taking care of its own members) church to a "programmatic" type church, which is basically like applied anthropology- you take your shared ideals, and go out into the community and actually try to make the world a better place. This does not include proselytizing. Our "programs" are much like the church in Knoxville's. We proclaim ourselves to be a "Welcoming Congregation" which means open-arming people of all sexual orientations, specifically, but really it means everyone. For a couple years now we've had a banner hanging on the side of the church that reads "Civil Marriage is a Civil Right" that has caught us some flak. And for the Easter service, when Rev. Mike (who is awesome) put the title of the sermon on the display board/sign: Jesus Was A Liberal, some numbnut threw a rock through the plexiglass and smashed it. But these are biggest tastes of backlash we've gotten for our liberal, tolerant, peace-loving, tree-hugging, life and diversity affirming views.
The shooting in Knoxville was a massive, tragic wake-up call, to say the least. In the back of our heads, I guess we all knew/know that holding certain beliefs in this day and age, and having the temerity/courage to stand up for them unwaveringly, can be a very dangerous thing. Those who lived through the Civil Rights movement remember getting tear-gassed and fire-hosed like it was yesterday, but for those of us born after that, it's not even a vague memory. We're grateful for the people who went before us, and know that they went through hell and suffered numerous indignities so that we could have a more just society- but who among us really knows what it's like to have dogs set on you, or police billy-clubs, or god forbid be staring down the barrel of that gun, prepared to die for your beliefs? (*ahem, and no, the Tent State kids who are vain enough to think that the FBI is actually taking their dang pictures? They don't count)
Fortunately, not many of us.
The thing that impressed me first about FUSD was its Religious Education curriculum. Ok, it was also the beautiful stone building and the stained glass, but truly- 5 years before I had a kid- I was stone-cold pleasantly shocked by their RE programs, which focus on teaching tolerance, kindness, tolerance, open-mindedness, tolerance, respect for diversity in both mind and body, and did I mention, tolerance? At the time, I knew of no other religion that did this. Most of them seem to have some permutation on "Our way is The One True Way, and All Others are Inferior (or even, Satanic/Evil)." They start indoctrinating their kids in this sort of absolutism, seems to me, way too early. Maybe they're hoping that insecure little kids will glom onto the "Be in Our club Because We're the Best and Everyone Else Sucks and Doesn't that Make you Feel Good?" thing, but personally I think it would backfire.
Anyway. This is a pretty common theme of the Left, in my experience. Tolerance, tolerance, tolerance. EVEN, up to a point, of people preaching nothing but hatred, lies, intolerance, war, more lies, and more hatred, of anyone different. But for me, that point has been reached. The line has been crossed. I still am fine with anyone who has integrity in their beliefs. That means you know why you believe what you believe, and you can back up your beliefs with hard, cold facts, statistics, and yes even stories of real personal experience, as long as they're tempered with education, count. But lately, oooo lessee... for about the past 7.5 years, the folks on the right have little to none of that on their side at all. And their beliefs have gotten increasingly less harmless, to say the least. You believe in Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny? No, you don't have to back that up, because they're harmless beliefs. You believe you really look good in orange even though friends and loved ones keep telling you it's not your color? Well ya know, fine. You're only affecting yourself.
But beliefs start becoming not-so-harmless when they traipse into other people's personal space, and personal freedoms. Especially when you don't know exactly what those beliefs are based on, or you think you know, but they turn out to be lies, and then you refuse to accept the non-truth of them primarily for egotistical and emotional reasons. Example: the War in Iraq. Invasion and occupation would be better words. This is also a good example of the mass hysteria/ normalized insanity we've been living under for way longer than the past 7.5 years. Anyway. This country went to war on a rumour and a bunch of ginned-up propaganda and fear which those of us on the left (or anyone with more than two functioning brain cells who wasn't in total denial about the nature of this country/government/administration) knew was a pack o'lies from the very beginning. Many people chose to believe those lies because they were scared shitless, used to trusting anyone in authority, didn't want to believe their government would ever mislead them, etc. etc. despite all evidence to the contrary. Literally, we had the chief weapons inspector (Hans Blix, yah?) on the TV one second saying, "We've found absolutely no weapons of mass destruction here, nor the ingredients for them, nor the technology," and the next second the President-select was on TV squealing, "see see! he's got bombs! He want to use them on us!!" and his Ph.d. Russian expert security advisor actually had the balls to say to CONGRESS "We don't want the smoking gun to be a mushroom cloud." This should/did create what psychologists call "cognitive dissonance." We were being told not to trust our own eyes, ears or instincts, but to listen to what the Chimp in Chief said was true.
Because they didn't want to be wrong, and don't want to ever admit that they're wrong, many people persist in "believing" the ensuing avalanche of lies despite the mountain of evidence piled up, these 5 years hence, to directly contradict them.
So, you say, as Dick Cheney might- so what? Part of the foundation of America is the premise that people can choose to believe whatever they want to believe, and no one can or should tell them different. Welp, the actual premise of that whole freedom of speech/thought/worship thing is that, it ends at the tip of someone else's nose, or personal space. Again, you can believe whatever you want, as long as it harms no one else. In this case, the folks on the right think they can still get away with it, because the people being harmed by their erroneous beliefs are not American citizens. And therefore, I guess, in the twisted, inhuman logic of the Right,they deserve to die.
So because of this heretofore widely held erroneous belief, close to one million Iraqi citizens have had not only their noses punched by our flagrant "freedom of thought/expression", but they've had their personal space totally extinguished. They're dead. Finito. And in the eyes of many of the same Americans who hold these erroneous beliefs dear, those dead Iraqis aren't even in "a better place"- nope, they went straight to hell because they're Muslim, not Christian. So there goes that little rationalization for killing.
This is where the difference in belief systems ceases to be the difference between Coke and Pepsi drinkers, amigos. If the hate-mongering assclown posse were simply telling their listeners to stay up all night in the pumpkin patch so that the Great Pumpkin can come and deliver you candy- fine. But nope. No such luck. The right-wing talk radio hosts and pundits see all the anger and frustration of the American people, but instead of trying to soothe it or find a healthy solution, they fan the flames for their own short-term personal gain. They do that by telling outright lies that support their agenda and apparently validate the wounded pride of the average white American male. In this case, an out-of-work Army vet who blamed his joblessness and every other problem on us "Godless Liberals" not to mention, all those brown "illegal" aliens, gays, and probably anyone who owns a small dog, for good measure. (you're obviously a pansy elitist if you own anything smaller than a Rottweiler). So, because of that, they deserved to die.
Maybe there was a time when picking a belief system was just as harmless as choosing a soft drink, but if there was, I wasn't alive during it. I know my cynical Jr. High Social Studies teacher, Mr. Johnson, described the two American political parties and the Left-to-Right spectrum as "the same, completely, but with different colors." I guess I can remember a time in my life when it wasn't really about choosing sides, so much as like choosing side-dishes from a Chinese menu. Here in Column B, you have what the adherents call Fiscal Conservatism- but that costs 20 million dollars and assumes you have inherited wealth! Whoa! But ya know, if you like to rub elbows with the wealthy and powerful, or think of yourself as one of them even though you're totally impoverished, go ahead and try it. In Column A we have something called the Social Contract which basically says, the people can have whatever regulations and programs they want, as long as it's a majority decision and they're willing to pay for it. E.g., if you don't want to step over homeless people on the way to work, you better be willing to spend some money on programs to prevent homelessness, etc. Blaming the downtrodden for their predicament gets us nowhere, and besides it's just not very Christian, nor very American. Ok- sounds good! Can I have that? But wait, the items in Column B are calling my choices "Tax and Spend Bleeding Heart Liberalism!" Wait- I don't want to be a bleeding heart... do I? (what the hell does that mean, anyway?) They're also saying.. come over here! Order from us! We have this thing about "personal responsibility" that no one else has! (Really? Can you define that please, and tell me ALL the ingredients up front so I know there's no MSG in it?) and "small government"... hmmm, I guess they're out of that today because Homeland Security's taken over the kitchen and the restaurant owner isn't even that interested in serving the customers anymore, he's got this idea that the customers should serve him. Yeah, that's him over in the corner booth sitting on his fat ass with his back to the wall so no one can sneak in and shoot him (because you know Homeland Security is too busy stuffing their faces with all that free food to actually PROTECT anyone)- woops, I've gone too far with this metaphor! But anyway, you get the idea. Some people like the pork chow mein, and some people want the vegetarian Happy Family, whaddreyagonnado? I mean, I would think you were a total moron/hypocrite for believing any of that crap coming from the right hand side of the aisle, but who friggin cares what I think, anyway? I never met a conservative who could actually back up their beliefs with facts, figures, or even convincing stories, but I didn't associate with them that much so it was okay.
But now.. with these incidents in particular, and just because all of their crap has finally made my temperature reach the boiling point- it's become blatantly obvious to everyone, I think, just what HUGE hypocrites and whopping liars they really are, ESPECIALLY with that tripe about "personal responsibility." Sure they talk a good game about being "self-sufficient" and "pulling themselves up by their own bootstraps" out one side of their mouths, and then out the other side (as well as out their arses) they're fanning the flames of bigotry and hatred and ENCOURAGING their listeners / followers to blame anyone and anything else for all their problems, but nowhere on the list is the individual having all those problems. Popular scapegoats now include "illegal" immigrants, or basically anyone with brown skin; "liberals" who include anyone to the left of Jerry Falwell, and I think you know what's coming next- the usual suspects; Jews, women, children, the elderly, the disabled, the diseased (hello, Savage), the poor, the dark-skinned, and yes, the intellectuals, who are already branded as "elitist snobs" because we dare to contradict their wild-eyed fantasies with rational, critical thought and these things called facts.
But anyway. This guy in Knoxville admitted as much, he thought the liberals were responsible for taking his job, his woman, his dignity- so all he had left were his truck and his gun. Give me a fucking break. Don't even get me started on how wrong that is. But you think the Insane Assclown Posse will take a smidgen of Personal Responsibility for this sad sack, who apparently was following their orders to a "T"?
uhhh... hmm.. I mentioned the fact that they were cowardly hypocritic liars, right? Who encourage people to go fight in wars for them so their defense contractor stock will rise? But actually couldn't win a thumb-war themselves, much less a fist-fight, much less a battle? Everyone knows Rush is a fat,drug-addicted bastard who can't get out of his chair to try and squash me, nevermind throwing punches. And Coulter? I'll snap her scrawny ass across my knee like a bundle of dry kindling. Done.
Not anymore. The subtitle for this blog should be, "Why it is no longer okay to be a Republican asshole." I could go on about how the conservative movement in America has been highjacked by the NeoCons, and the mainstream "fiscal" or "faith-based" conservatives or whatever they choose to call themselves, have totally gone along with it- but that may be a whole 'nother blog.
And all of this is being marketed to us as a perfectly acceptable "choice" you can make, that has no greater consequences than a fashion mistake or dieting slip-up. Are you on this side, with the winners and all the money, or that side, with the discredited losers in their ruined world? We on the left are supposed to be "tolerant" of such hateful, divisive tactics, because we're the peaceniks right? Love and respect for everyone and their various points of view? Here's the thing, mofos: if you are actually believing that shite that the hate-mongers sling, despite all credible evidence to the contrary, rah-rahing for WAR of all things when we don't even know who attacked us- the BURDEN OF PROOF IS ON YOU. You want to go to war on a rumour, that so -and-so might have to plans to not like us very much, some time in the future? Nuh-uh. Your plan is to attack a CIVILIAN CITY in the DEAD OF NIGHT with no opposing army in sight? And you rationalize this by saying that every person in that city is potentially a terrorist, including the babies? PROVE IT, motherfuckers. Your case for going to war has to be IRONCLAD, and after that, something called an actual battle plan has to be put in place. Oh, there's not going to be an actual "battle" you say? It's going to look more like a video game, called "Shock and Awe" and if the opponents have any sense at all , they'll flee from your terrible show of strength, and failing that, the survivors will welcome you as liberators? Hmmm. Explain to me how that's different from the Nazis bombing London during the Blitzkrieg. Something tells me they were following a similar script, written by Adolf Hitler. That's right, I said it, Americans are no better than the Nazis in this scenario. Chew on that for awhile. Find a way to rationalize it away.
Nope. No longer the difference between Coke and Pepsi, my friends, even though we've all been marketed-to our whole lives to believe it really is. I'm not going to stand for hate-speech anymore (not that I ever did) whether it comes from a coworker, a friend, a so-called "superior", family, in-laws, whatever. I'm done. This is too important. And if any of those hate-mongers dare to set foot in my town, on my turf, they can prepare to be bitch-smacked within an inch of their lives. If anyone so much as murmurs that they're voting for McCain because he seems "strong" and Obama seems "scary," you can bet I'll berate them verbally until they come to their senses and realize what they're saying. They might cry. I might cry. I don't care. Public humiliation and shaming people into doing the right thing is a time-honored, non-violent, force for social change. I aim to use it wisely. Oh, and I'm fixin' to go back to church every week if we have to. As Starbuck said on Battlestar Galactica, when someone asked her, "What do we do now??": Fight 'em until we can't.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
I'm No Zen Master/ Struggle Struggle Struggle
he title is from some poem or some grande dame of the arts giving advice to a young artist, I believe, about what she can expect in life. Wikiquote is not helping me. If anyone knows the real thing, notify me. I've just had this stanza playing over and over in my head for months now: "What can you expect? Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle. And once you've succeeded? Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle. And once you've been immortalized? Struggle, struggle, struggle, struggle."
That's supposed to be the road of the "true" artist anyway, and I think it's half bullshit personally. That's the kind of crap that leads people to rationalize doing drugs, ditching their families, and basically refusing to be responsible citizens.
I prefer my art history professor's quote, which he got from someone else, and told us at the very beginning of the first day of class: There is no royal road to art. You will not be carried there on golden chariots, pulled by winged horses. You will suffer, but don't make suffering what the art is really about. Is what he was trying to say.
There ya go. This is a bit of an issue with me, and I admit it's been blocking me for some time now, because my mother was a so-called "artist," who, as you might guess, refused all treatment for her mental illness and caused us to suffer needlessly because she also refused to get a job, take responsibility for anything, yada yada, on and on... because she was "an artist."
If I were telling this to a therapist right now, she would say, "Hmmm, so that's why you think it's not okay to be a writer, right? Because you think that 's the narcissistic , irresponsible thing to do. Something your mother would do." And she'd be partially right.
My parents' irresponsibility and narcissism led to all of that responsibility piling up on their children, tenfold. I try not to dwell on it, but it's hard not to when every day you're struggling to pay bills, looking around at your friends who are enjoying 10 times the success that you are and take it for granted, and here I am, a grown -ass woman, with a full-time job, now raising my own child, paying student loans off, and I still have sheets for curtains like when I was in college.
Like I was telling Bruce the other day, I think I've been noble enough for 2 or 3 people, for one lifetime. And it also makes my lizard -brain think, "this shit better pay off big someday. All this fucking character development, emotional growth, resourcefulness, integrity- it better pay off!!!" heh. It's like what Ram Dass joked about, before he had his stroke. He was a Zen master, yes, but he also still understood that most people don't greet the next disaster comin' down the pike with open arms and hearts, as they karmically "should" or whatever. Most people, even with years of Buddhist or other spiritual training, are like, "oh great, another goddamned growth experience." Including him.
I think we all go through degrees of this, thinking about what we'd really like to do with our lives, and then thinking about all of our responsibilities. As I've been saying for years, I'm no Zen master. I'm not even trying to be one. My short, attainable goal for the time being is to try and temper all the vengeance in my heart with some wisdom and humour. E.g., don't kill anyone.
I do this by looking at the bright side, and reminding myself that with my family history, it's lucky I didn't wind up a truckstop crack-whore. Every day that I'm not a truckstop crack whore, it's a good day.
Amen. I have a steady job, a loving husband, a beautiful, funny toddler girl, a roof over my head and food to eat. The rest is gravy.
On that note, I'm growing some food in container gardens, which these days seems like a smart thing to do. And tying in with my Preparedness blog... I suppose it's some comfort that I've been struggling all my life, already learned how to be resourceful, cut corners everywhere, not used to luxuries, etc. etc. so when/if the shite hits the fan, I'll be more prepared than those yuppies driving around in their SUVs and talking on their Iphones at the same time. We have less-far to fall, I suppose. But that's cold comfort right now. And if the world truly does collapse in the next few months and I NEVER get to experience some of those luxuries... I will be PISSED.
And writing that, I already feel like a chump, because shite man, here I am a fat American, blogging on my f'in laptop far from a warzone and yes my family has health insurance... so what the f** am I complaining about? So it's all relative, but that doesn't mean you should trivialize your own stuff either. It's a balance. I /we have to learn to have compassion for ourselves, before we have compassion for anyone else. Real, active compassion, not just lip service and charity balls.
I give myself a pat on the back for not being a truckstop whore or abandoning my family (*like Bruce's 2nd cousin, Al Haig, bebop piano player extraordinaire of Charlie Parker's who went down the death-spiral of heroin abuse and took his family with him) and then I ask myself, allright beatch, how you gonna do what you gotta do? Including, not be miserable forever. There's a Zen story that goes along with the grande dame/artist's quote, different culture, same story: How do you become a Zen monk? Chop wood, carry water. How do you attain enlightenment? Chop wood, carry water. What do you do after you attain enlightenment? Chop wood, carry water.
I'm writing this now maybe because we got our pay notice last week with our supposed "raise" on it, and it amounts to like $60 more a month for me. Woohoo. And, my sister-in-law's dad just passed away, I never got to meet him, and I'm feeling sad about that, and contemplating what a life's achievements really add up to, in the end. This guy probably had an idea:
Those works of art which have scooped up the truth and presented it to us as a living force — they take hold of us, compel us, and nobody ever, not even in ages to come, will appear to refute them. ~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
That's supposed to be the road of the "true" artist anyway, and I think it's half bullshit personally. That's the kind of crap that leads people to rationalize doing drugs, ditching their families, and basically refusing to be responsible citizens.
I prefer my art history professor's quote, which he got from someone else, and told us at the very beginning of the first day of class: There is no royal road to art. You will not be carried there on golden chariots, pulled by winged horses. You will suffer, but don't make suffering what the art is really about. Is what he was trying to say.
There ya go. This is a bit of an issue with me, and I admit it's been blocking me for some time now, because my mother was a so-called "artist," who, as you might guess, refused all treatment for her mental illness and caused us to suffer needlessly because she also refused to get a job, take responsibility for anything, yada yada, on and on... because she was "an artist."
If I were telling this to a therapist right now, she would say, "Hmmm, so that's why you think it's not okay to be a writer, right? Because you think that 's the narcissistic , irresponsible thing to do. Something your mother would do." And she'd be partially right.
My parents' irresponsibility and narcissism led to all of that responsibility piling up on their children, tenfold. I try not to dwell on it, but it's hard not to when every day you're struggling to pay bills, looking around at your friends who are enjoying 10 times the success that you are and take it for granted, and here I am, a grown -ass woman, with a full-time job, now raising my own child, paying student loans off, and I still have sheets for curtains like when I was in college.
Like I was telling Bruce the other day, I think I've been noble enough for 2 or 3 people, for one lifetime. And it also makes my lizard -brain think, "this shit better pay off big someday. All this fucking character development, emotional growth, resourcefulness, integrity- it better pay off!!!" heh. It's like what Ram Dass joked about, before he had his stroke. He was a Zen master, yes, but he also still understood that most people don't greet the next disaster comin' down the pike with open arms and hearts, as they karmically "should" or whatever. Most people, even with years of Buddhist or other spiritual training, are like, "oh great, another goddamned growth experience." Including him.
I think we all go through degrees of this, thinking about what we'd really like to do with our lives, and then thinking about all of our responsibilities. As I've been saying for years, I'm no Zen master. I'm not even trying to be one. My short, attainable goal for the time being is to try and temper all the vengeance in my heart with some wisdom and humour. E.g., don't kill anyone.
I do this by looking at the bright side, and reminding myself that with my family history, it's lucky I didn't wind up a truckstop crack-whore. Every day that I'm not a truckstop crack whore, it's a good day.
Amen. I have a steady job, a loving husband, a beautiful, funny toddler girl, a roof over my head and food to eat. The rest is gravy.
On that note, I'm growing some food in container gardens, which these days seems like a smart thing to do. And tying in with my Preparedness blog... I suppose it's some comfort that I've been struggling all my life, already learned how to be resourceful, cut corners everywhere, not used to luxuries, etc. etc. so when/if the shite hits the fan, I'll be more prepared than those yuppies driving around in their SUVs and talking on their Iphones at the same time. We have less-far to fall, I suppose. But that's cold comfort right now. And if the world truly does collapse in the next few months and I NEVER get to experience some of those luxuries... I will be PISSED.
And writing that, I already feel like a chump, because shite man, here I am a fat American, blogging on my f'in laptop far from a warzone and yes my family has health insurance... so what the f** am I complaining about? So it's all relative, but that doesn't mean you should trivialize your own stuff either. It's a balance. I /we have to learn to have compassion for ourselves, before we have compassion for anyone else. Real, active compassion, not just lip service and charity balls.
I give myself a pat on the back for not being a truckstop whore or abandoning my family (*like Bruce's 2nd cousin, Al Haig, bebop piano player extraordinaire of Charlie Parker's who went down the death-spiral of heroin abuse and took his family with him) and then I ask myself, allright beatch, how you gonna do what you gotta do? Including, not be miserable forever. There's a Zen story that goes along with the grande dame/artist's quote, different culture, same story: How do you become a Zen monk? Chop wood, carry water. How do you attain enlightenment? Chop wood, carry water. What do you do after you attain enlightenment? Chop wood, carry water.
I'm writing this now maybe because we got our pay notice last week with our supposed "raise" on it, and it amounts to like $60 more a month for me. Woohoo. And, my sister-in-law's dad just passed away, I never got to meet him, and I'm feeling sad about that, and contemplating what a life's achievements really add up to, in the end. This guy probably had an idea:
Those works of art which have scooped up the truth and presented it to us as a living force — they take hold of us, compel us, and nobody ever, not even in ages to come, will appear to refute them. ~ Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn
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